True Friends

What is it that you think of when you hear the phrase "Best Friends" or "True Friends?" Do you think of a high school buddy or "bestie?" Do you think of a college roomate? Do you think of a long-time neighbor? Do you ever think directly of your spouse? 

Sadly, many don't. Our spouse is our lover, our companion, our help-mate, but are they our friend? The answer is most certainly.

There are two main aspects of a marriage relationship, love and friendship. I separate these two even though many would say they are the same. The fact is both are equally important in the marriage relationship, neither trumping the other. With both of them at full power marriage is bliss, it is strong and satisfying for both despite any circumstances. With either or both of these failing, marriage limps, even drags along until it can go on no longer. So then, what is the difference between the two?

Love hightens the joys of life. The word ecstacy is used so often in the context of love. Ecstacy refers to an amplified version of emotion, happy emotion. When we are happy and getting along and life is good, love toward one another is felt at such a strong level. Love fuels the passion in marriage. Love is the feeling you get when you see your spouse look in the mirror as they get ready for the day and you can't take your eyes off them. Love leads to romance and romantic outings. Love leads to late nights and travelling great distances to be with one another even for a moment. Love is when your hearts skips a beat when your spouse grabs your hand, or walks into the room. Love is beautiful. Love is essential. 

Friendship is equally as important as love, but sadly is not given the publicity that love is so frequenttly given. It seems love is always in the spotlight; in films, books, songs, and stories. Less revealed is the friendship side of marriage. Friendship is loyalty. If love is the icing and filing then friendship is the cake. A true friend is the side of you that comes out when your spouse needs to talk, when they are stressed and need a hug. True means constant, consistent, steadfast, honest, truthful, and ideal. What kind of spouse would one be without these qualities? Friendship is what pulls a couple through a difficult trial, particularly those that are between the couple. When one in the couple is offended, annoyed, or hurt, love typically is harder to feel, but the friendship that is so constant and unwavering is what gets us through that detour and back to the main road where love can take over once again. Friendship is the willingness to defend and support your spouse when their back is against the wall or in any cicumstance. Best friends are forever. Friendship always forgives and is understanding. Friendship take the person with all the defects. The Savior said that, "Ye are my friends...I have called you friends." (John 15:14-15) What greater love is their than true friendship? Let us not forget the power of friendship in our marriages, especially at such a time as now, when we need strong marriages and families in society more than ever.